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by anonymous guardsman 1101
Summary: when Dave wakes up in a strange and hostile blocky land he must gain the help and trust of some one that is so similar to him but so different at the same time. rated T for safety and possible strong language enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

So here I am again last thing I tried fell on its face pretty quickly I am redoing something with a similar plot but … no terrible. So let's get this fail train on the tracks.

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Ch1 blocky paradise

There was silence in the clearing. A distant chorus of clucking chickens just quiet enough to not be annoying but just loud enough to wake the figure laying on a small rocky outcropping on a near by hill. A pig made curious by the strange groaning noise made by this alien thing trotted over and poked it with its snout .an inhuman moaning sound was released by the thing before it made a response

"just a bit longer"

The pig jumped and scuttled back at the sudden outburst of what could vaguely be described as words. And at a loss what to do in this situation it did the first thing that came to its strange piggy mind. Poke it harder

His world was a blur. A mix of frantic light sound sensation blended into an incomprehensible streak that was impossible to keep track of. And then as suddenly as it started it was over leaving him in blessed silence perfect stillness .second or hours later a single sound was registered. Dave's fragmented mind still reeling from the suddenness of the entire event offed little support towards piecing together what was happening and what the sound was slowly and reluctantly several words formed in the back of his mind it was a chicken which was clucking it was also delicious and had cute little chicks. Processing this information slowly only stopping to question why his mind made the last two points. There was a feeling of being prodded in the side and to his utter bewilderment a series of alien words flew out of his mouth. He opened one of his eyes and was treated to a muted reprisal to the vortex of thing he went through moments earlier. Blinking rapidly to shake the nauseating feeling of being overwhelmed by his senses he cursed himself for being so eager. Slowly and more cautiously he pulled his eyelids open and was immediately greeted by a nice unspoilt view of a clear blue sky looking to the left he saw a pig a blocky pig. A short staring contest began as his already overtaxed mind exploded into questions and a nasty migraine as something totally unexpected happened .it pushed him. A momentary feeling of weightlessness overtook him as he finely realised what just happened. A blocky pig just pushed him of a cliff .the sheer ridiculousness of this raced through his mind as the ground rose up to meet him.

A race of light and sound flew through his mind as

"Wait a minute hasn't this already happened"

With a mental groan he tried to suppress the stream of things and asses the situation. Organising his thoughts he made a mental checklist of the good and bad things. bad I just got pushed of a cliff. Good I am alive … I think. Bad I have no idea where I am. Good now that's done I can concentrate on the important things like worrying about dying opening his eyes he was pleased to find that he was in fact mostly in one piece. Looking up he found the ledge fallen from was no more than a few meters of the ground and would have been barely enough to bruise a normal person surveying his surrounding for the first time he found everything was strangely uniform . With newfound determination he pulled himself to his feet and upon looking down discovered a backpack laying on the ground it was plain black with his name on a slightly scruffy label which was in fact a bit of post -it note stuck to one of the straps. Looking in the bag he found a pair of forest camouflage cargo pants (or trousers if that floats your boat)and a similarly patterned long sleeved shirt as well as a pair of aviator sunglasses . Remembering he had not examined what he was wearing he looked down and saw a pair of plain black pants and a short sleeved t-shirt. Satisfied he began walking in a random direction.

And immediately stopped as soon as he saw a was blocky casting his mind back he remembered the pig was also blocky. He momentarily ignored why he hadn't saw this earlier. A fresh migraine decided to appear as he began walking again while the sun went down

A/n I hope you enjoyed that constructive criticism so if you saw any errors don't be afraid to point them out

Have a nice day

Anonymous guardsman 1101 out


	2. Chapter 2

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Ch2

a/n hello its anonymous guardsman 1101 here with chapter 2 of … what ever this is

steve hated when he was curious. He could be sleeping now but no he saw something in the distance and he just had to find out what it was. This wouldn't be so bad but this thing just had to be past the swamp so he had to leave the heavy armour at home and just to confirm that life hated him it was had been an hour since he had left his nice heated dry home in search of this thing and he was beginning to think this thing was just another shooting star .he stopped in a small clearing and decided to stop. The clearing was unremarkable for the most part with the small ledge with an oddly shifty looking pig on it. He decided that he would go back home annoyed that this pointless expedition had left him empty handed tired and worst of all soaking wet. Just as he was about start his frustration filled trek home he saw something .laying in the dirt was a small torn piece of paper. Pushing himself off the tree took all too much effort as he walked forward to grab the mysterious note and now with his curiosity yelling for a look he eagerly grabbed the note. After nearly five seconds of inspection he realised the scribbles on the paper were actually writing and another ten to come to the realisation that the writing was English. With this new found knowledge he quickly decoded the poorly written note 'property of Dave'. He made a decision to go home and continue this investigation in the morning and with the note tucked into his pocket he began his trek home.

Dave was annoyed. first he woke up in this blocky hell hole then he got pushed of a cliff by a pig and now it was raining. Dave sighed for the umpteenth time that day as he sat against the wall of the cave. He had decided to take shelter in this small cave he had spotted in the side of the mountain as the sun went down and he was glad it had been first stroke of luck all day as it had began to rain moments later. He had dedicated the seemingly endless hours of mind crushing boredom to messing around with the bag he picked up earlier and had not found anything interesting and was now playing with the handle for a while now a with look of boredom plastered on his face. He for the thousandth time he decided to look around the cave. it was not small but just big enough to allow him to participate in his favourite pass time pacing up and down and thinking of things to blame. Deciding to check the cave entrance he pulled himself up and stumbled forward towards the small gap that made up the entrance of this small he got to the entrance he noticed something in the got closer and he realized it was a person slowly shambling towards him a look of happiness slowly spread across his face he was it got closer however his relief started to turn to horror the thing that he previously thought to be his saviour looked vaguely human but its skin was a sickly shade of green this thing was wearing a blue shirt that was barely able to be called that because of the dozen tears that dotted it. Its skin was in a similar state and it looked like it had been hugging a cheese grater for the past year. As he looked on in horror dozens more emerged from the shadows. Faced with this creatures Dave did what he did best he ran and screamed like a baby .

Steve was more curious than ever and was now running having a sense of urgency. the screaming was close. Turning around a small ridge he saw where the screaming was coming from. There where a dozen zombies struggling to climb into a small cave entrance which he assumed the screaming person was hiding in. drawing his cold blue sword he charged into battle.

a/n next chapter is coming soon I the mean time please tell me how monumentally I screwed up with a review. I feed off other peoples disappointment

have a nice day

anonymous guardsman out


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